“It is in the middle of misery that so much becomes clear”
~ from the poem, A Prayer, by Clarissa Pinkola Estes
Although I sometimes hate to admit it, I have learned way more from the miserable periods in my life than from when all is well. Mostly everything I know has come from hard times. I learned to enjoy solitude from being isolated. I learned to be brave from being terrified. I learned I can survive loss by losing people. I have also learned that everything passes—EVERYTHING—pain, joy, grief, success, failure, humiliation, depression, and exultation.
I first got this in a real way about 5 years ago when I waited in line with my family at Universal Studios to ride the “Dueling Dragons” rollercoaster. I was afraid to do it. Then it came to me as I waited in line, watching the ride run through repeatedly, that no matter how uncomfortable or scary it might be, it would be over in a few minutes. It would pass. (PS – I did OK on the Dueling Dragons – but think I will cross that one off my bucket list and not do it again).
Now when I find myself in some wretched emotional state, or twisted up with anxiety, I remind myself that this too is temporary. I can let it all blow through like a bad storm, and even if it is not sunny afterward, there will be a quiet space where I can catch my breath and find my footing again.
I have also learned along the way that worry is pointless. Probably 98% of what I have worried about in my life has NOT come to pass. (It is usually the stuff I didn’t think about that whacks me upside the head). Worry is a waste of energy. It is also a huge waste of time. As I get older, I become more acutely aware that “time is all we have”, and that more of this life lies behind me than ahead of me. Why would I want to ruin any of this precious time with WORRY?
On a good day, I remember these truths, and life is always better when I can do that!
Here’s the complete poem by Clarissa Pinkola Estes – I read it when I need to remember what I know. Clarissa Pinkola Estes is a story teller and author. She wrote Women Who Run with the Wolves and Untie the Strong Woman. She’s on my heroine list.
A Prayer
Refuse to fall down
If you cannot refuse to fall down,
refuse to stay down.
If you cannot refuse to stay down,
lift your heart toward heaven,
and like a hungry beggar,
ask that it be filled.
You may be pushed down.
You may be kept from rising.
But no one can keep you from lifting your heart
toward heaven
only you.
It is in the middle of misery
that so much becomes clear.
The one who says nothing good
came of this
is not yet listening.
~ Clarissa Pinkola Estes